Building a new community is harder than expected for introverts

Arwa Mahdawi, an introverted freelancer, experienced significant friendship loss after moving from New York to Philadelphia, primarily due to lifestyle changes that included having children and moving away. This transition highlighted the difficulties she faced in building a new community from scratch, as she had previously relied on her social circle in New York. Despite moving to a more affordable city, Mahdawi found that the task of making new friends was much more complicated than anticipated. She boldly joined a gym hoping to meet new people but had limited success, including an awkward encounter in the locker room. In search of some form of connection, Mahdawi adopted an unusual habit of hanging around squash courts and offering her phone number to acquaintances. This approach, coupled with her realization that genuine enthusiasm is crucial for forming friendships, proved somewhat effective. She noted that exploring new activities, like squash, which she originally dismissed as not being her forte, increased her chances of finding like-minded individuals and building rapport. Her journey illustrates that even seemingly simple endeavors to socialize can become intricate and challenging for introverted individuals. The idea of community building in a new city is often glamorized in self-help culture, suggesting that manifesting or engaging in wellness activities could drastically change one’s social life; however, the reality proves to be more complex. Mahdawi's experience reflects a common struggle faced by many who relocate, especially those who might not thrive in typical social settings. Instead of quick fixes, forming lasting connections requires effort, willingness to step outside of comfort zones, and most importantly, enthusiasm for new opportunities. Ultimately, Mahdawi recognizes that the path to building a new friendship network can be filled with both awkward moments and meaningful interactions. As she adapts to her new environment and embraces the challenges that come with it, she demonstrates the tenacity needed to foster relationships at any stage of life. This journey serves as a reminder that while making new friends is often romanticized, it necessitates sincerity, perseverance, and a willingness to embrace new experiences, particularly for those with introverted personalities.