Complex grief: Coping with the loss of a sibling
- Annie Sklaver Orenstein, author of 'Always A Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide To Grief,' discusses the complexities of grief, particularly when it involves the loss of a sibling.
- She highlights that societal perceptions often question the validity of grief based on the nature of the relationship, such as estrangement.
- Orenstein emphasizes the importance of support from others, suggesting that simply showing up and helping with daily tasks can be beneficial for those grieving.
Annie Sklaver Orenstein, an author and grief expert, shares her insights on the intricate nature of grieving a sibling, particularly following her own experience of losing her brother in Afghanistan in 2009. She notes that societal norms often impose qualifiers on grief, such as the closeness of the relationship, which can lead individuals to question their right to grieve. This is especially true in cases of estrangement, where the perception may be that less grief is warranted. Orenstein explains that this phenomenon can lead to what is termed 'abbreviated grief,' where individuals may have already processed some of their feelings prior to the death, resulting in a muted response. This misunderstanding can further complicate the grieving process, as those around the bereaved may not recognize the depth of their loss. To support someone dealing with complex grief, Orenstein suggests practical actions rather than attempting to alleviate their pain directly. Simple gestures, such as helping with household chores, can provide significant comfort and show solidarity. Ultimately, Orenstein's work aims to validate the experiences of those mourning siblings, encouraging a broader understanding of grief that encompasses various relational dynamics and the importance of community support.