Peter Godwin Reflects on Loss: Country, Mother, and Marriage

Peter Godwin reflects on profound losses in his life, including his homeland, his mother, and his marriage. His mother, who was once a brilliant doctor in Zimbabwe, became increasingly distant and critical as she aged. Godwin grapples with the painful realization that she was too preoccupied to visit him during a critical illness, leading to feelings of abandonment. This complex relationship is marked by a lack of affection, with Godwin feeling he spent his childhood seeking her attention while she later sought his. The memoir also delves into Godwin's marriage to journalist Joanna Coles, which deteriorated despite attempts at couples therapy. He describes the end of their relationship as 'Jexit,' likening it to Brexit, and views it as an unnecessary and self-inflicted wound. This metaphor highlights his belief that their separation was based on misunderstandings and false narratives. As he navigates these losses, Godwin confronts the impact of political turmoil in Zimbabwe, where he was born. The regime of Robert Mugabe devastated the country, leading to the loss of his family's farm and the suffering of its citizens. This backdrop of war and suffering adds depth to his personal losses, intertwining his identity with the fate of his homeland. Ultimately, Godwin's journey is one of reflection and acceptance, as he returns to New York with the ashes of his mother and father, symbolizing the end of an era in his life. He faces the ashes of his own life, signifying a poignant moment of reckoning with his past and the relationships that shaped him.